my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
