toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Shame - the story of my life.
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