I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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