just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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