there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
