nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
