Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
