well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize