i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
