Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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