my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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