She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
