Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
