It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
