HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
