Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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