Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
