This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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