I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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