Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
