He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
