She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
