Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
