question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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