i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
