Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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