I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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