You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
