so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
