is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
