I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
