Porn is love you can see.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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