Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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