Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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