You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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