He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
