I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
