operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
