i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
