Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's always time for handjobs
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
