I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
