when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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