there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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