the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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