After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
