so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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