i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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