Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
