don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize