so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
