i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
