We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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