I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
