Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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