My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish you could order shots online.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
