Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
