Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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