I'm really into asian looking animals
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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