I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
