found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
