Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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