The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
