I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
