ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
