I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
