Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
